Hmm, this blog entry will be one which will not be unedited, so if there's any mis spelling somewhere or another, or if theres any grammar mistakes, "no link" somewhere, or maybe there's not linkage between the ideas and content, pardon your little darling ok? :)
These few days kinda "not shun" for the both of us. We been have little misunderstandings and miscommunications about our thinkings and actions etc. Family issues and most importantly , some essential components about our relationships. Well, dear.. after many hours of thoughts and pondering, i am quite certain that we are looking into the future between us. As what you have always mentioned to me, we are concerning for each other, our well-being, the common goals and actions. We need to have them align together. And why you are doing so, because the more we love for each other, the more care and concern for our love to last long. Most importantly, you have see me the one that can lead u to happiness... dear, likewise i felt the same too. The arguments for the past few days may seem a disppointment for both of us , i.e. we may not be able to meet the expectations for one another, but on the other hand, i feel that these are the vital arguments that will be the determinant of our lasting relationship for now and in the future. Really de! i should say thank you because without your initalization, everything will be kept at heart, same for me too!
I must admit that i have many things to learn about BGR, issue that i have also neglected, the small little things that a girl would like the guy to do for herself. Actually to think of it, i may have taken things for granted also. ** Things that you did mentioned to me, i should have taken note more seriously.** A girl is still a sweet little girl.. this should also applied to my darling too right? :) Action really speak louder than words. Say is not enough, i should also do my actions de.
Hmm, another thing that i have learn to not do is to be more gentle in the tone in which i reply during a soft argument de. This is something which i had nv learn to realise in the past. I must learn to relate in a softer and better manner. Hmm, feel really guilty that i have always reprimand you that you spoke loud in the public. I myself also doing it!!! Yucks. ** dear, beat my backside when next meet k?**
Generally i someone who listen to ppl, and will change myself and not repeat the mistakes if the one party is making the correct stances. Actually, dear.. i really think you are a wise person when you tried to put your point of view to me.. The EQ towards BGR is really impressive. honestly, i must learn alot from you. Although, this should not be the case eh... :X I understand your point of view de. Its just that the small little ego in me tell me not to say you are right? half tell me to say U're right! half telling me that U're wrong kinda idea here. hope you understand me here. :P As i walk my way home.. the flow of thoughts came in... Actually i do doubt my reasons that i gave you de. The point about not to buy you things at times, at that juncture which i mentioned about you have (the eg.)many bangles le, was really qi hua.. It was my little ego that prevent me from saying, dear.. i should have buy you, sorry k! The more i think about it, i really feel bad thou. All gf should want her bf to have done it more often.
And on the point that money matter, i do admit that i know these period u been more capable ($) to buy things or to enjoy yourself, likewise, for these holiday, my allowance came solely from my ICT and IPPT incentive. So, i have been trying to spend lesser to tie down for the January IA period. Dear, so i kinda have a this mentality to save more... Dear, sorry k, should let u know earlier de. By the way, i feel really happy when you know the point why i have shown you my bank account last week at expo. I didnt say it explicitly, but i know you knew the "han yi" right. Been wanting to do it quite awhile ago, but just cant find the appropriate time and place to do it. this significes that you are very important person in my life, to let u know this personal thing belonging to me to you... an action which i felt one of the most "dearest" thing that i want to do to show my love.
So, about the money matter, when you have asked me in the train about the future, what was thinking in my mind was about the uncertainty that i have... The 1st answer that i wanna give is "YES" , i will be the one ... but on the other hand, i also dont wanna make an empty promise by saying so.. maybe i have neglect the point that what you would like to hear at that moment of time, but my sudden pause might have made u alittle disappointed. Because, i feel that i should not just say "YES" when now i'm a student without $ capability at this point of time. My inner self really tell me to work hard in the future to give you the most happy life thereafter. And relate this to my family, i would also wanna do well in the future, change the exisiting lifestyle of my family, not wanting to live the same standard as what i am now. ** everyone wanna live better dont we." Perhaps its back to my little ego again, dun wan to make an empty promise to my love , and only wanna show it to her when the time comes.
You might now be wondering about the status issue thing... Well, i do admit i was not being polite to say that why now i dun and when status change, i will.. Hmm, maybe i'm being a little selfish and reserve here.. ** which i know i'm really wrong** to only do such things when at different status. Hmm, after what you have say, i really realise my wrong.. perhaps, i can put it as
" Do it often do it more, your love will love you forever more.. " nice quote right! Hmm, not being playful right, but i guess the quote do explain my thought.
Why should i reserve this right, only when we are married, is it because only then she wun run away or something, ~ it's really really wrong here.. What am i thinking. Dun bring in your old r/s here pls!!! Your darling really a nice girl.. She would not have say that you can ditch the girl if she always want you to do the buying. Furthermore, what she really wan is the thought and not the cost of the product!!! Can't you see that , chris!!!!
Darling, this time u have really knock it some sense to me. I should really fan xin fan xin yi !!! I know you really love me alot, same for me too.. Really want to spend the rest of my life with you de.. Really .. guess i have to really start going for consultation with Dr. Love or something to keep our relationship going, smooth and CC99... Will definitely keep in mind wht you have mentioned to me last few evenings. I know you see in me alot of potential , likewise i will not let you down, will continue to strive hard towards our relationship de k...!
Woot, a really long blog entry this time. But the time , you see it, think i'm in the uni chalet le. Hope this entry will let u know more about my perspective or feeling. oh ya~! hope can understand de wor. Wont be editing it de.
By the way, u like my new hairstyle last evening? :) Wish me luck for my results in few minutes time!!!
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