Actually to think of it, it was also the first time that she had asked for me to take a seat and to have a short chat over some issue.
In fact after the chat, many things struck me. Believed this will be the first time that i'm in this situation like it. In the past, i would think of the many wonderful things and goals that i am going to accomplish and to fulfill in the years to come. Especially so after i have shared with her about our goal 20122012... So many things that i would like to achieve with her together.
As i was able to "lock and strive them all"....
An important issue was mentioned during our chat and its kinda "shaken" me.. The more i think about this issue thou, the more uncertainties that i made. Perhaps more wrongful assumptions that i have given myself. I would say that it more than just a visit to the D but it does implies on many other issues too.
Honestly speaking, i'm would say that i'm a contented to what i have, the family that i'm bought up in, and also the many happy events that came across my life (including meeting my dear and to have her in my life till this point of time). As what i have mentioned earlier, if she have noted, it is also because of my dad's issue that make me what i am now. To learn to care, to appreciate things, and most importantly to be a filial child.
And so what if someone came from a rich, fed with sliver spoon or even from a healthy family and to those whom often ask parent for spare money? There is also possiblities for him/her to led astray, not filial and to take many things for granted. Really distaste such people...
"Life kinda unfair, just when you have met "the one", and an obstacle set in..." When i heard from her, 2 things came into my mind.. Felt really contented because this means that i'm the one already. On the other hand, this obstacle is may sound very unfriendly and may cause some devastating effect to our relationship...
Do i really need to go through all these? Am i ready for all this, How about the future that i have set for myself earlier???
And what if this obstacle crossed and something else set in in the future...
Have i seen the protective self of an individual.. Although i knows it is a typical human feeling, but am i seeing it too early?/ Have i mentioned the goal 20122012 too early as well? Gosh.. the more i think of it, the more insecurity came into my mind. How am i to take care of someone, when i myself feel insecure . It has never been this way before... What should i do... Is like i'm climbing up a flight of steps and fallen more steps this time round.. And what if something bad happened after 20122012 **touch wood"? Am i going to be someone of guilty for example...
In a big dilemma this time. You at stake, me at stake, our future at stake.
Since young, i have always had this perception in mind, when 2 person in love, no matter what happened to the other person.. They will also walk through it together.. Think after sunday's chat, i realise that this perception has changed, it was really too ideal..
Think i'm sounding too pessimistic this time.. But i just could not think otherwise...Yucks.. really should not be thinking along that line... Chris Chris!!!! You are not like this.. What happened to you???
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